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Bronze Dragon (Michaelwalker)
Starlite Moderator
Username: Michaelwalker

Posted on Wednesday, June 25, 2003 - 02:40 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

This area is designated for those of you who would like to try the Form challenge for the week (or a previous week if you’d like), but are not sure whether or not you did the form correctly. Simply submit your entire poem here (no link is necessary, these are works in progress) and we, the challengers and administrators collectively, will give you guidance on the form, or, if you’ve done it perfectly, we’ll say so! This will hopefully give you a risk-free forum to obtain advice on your poem for the Form Over Substance challenge before you post it and submit it in the challenge thread.

Michael Walker
Aka Bronze Dragon


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Diana Randall (Diana)
Starlite Member
Username: Diana

Posted on Monday, August 18, 2003 - 01:08 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Title: The Muses and Me
URL: http://www.thestarlitecafe.com/poems/75/poem_8233367372.html

The form is Terza Rima. One of the things I would like to know is if I used the following words in the correct context: deigns and trancendental, are they used correctly in the poem. Please check the rest of the poem for any other mistakes.

Thank you,

DianaSR
"Imagination rules the world, let the universe speak to you." Diana

"Some words just have more poetic pull on your heart than others, honor that, your heart is speaking to you." Skybrush
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pedro b. bernaldez (Pedro_bernaldez)
Starlite Member
Username: Pedro_bernaldez

Posted on Monday, October 27, 2003 - 01:25 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I'm Pedro, a neophyte: very, very green but eager to learn. I'm not lying but simply laing LOL. Please help wit this lai.

==============================
Unrequited

Come sit with me, please
and look at the trees
beyond,

The color of leaves
just like your kisses
are fond,

Oh lovely mistress
with golden tresses
respond.


On my bended knees
offer you my pleas
must I?

With your long silence
comes painful unease
it¡¯s wry,

So with passing breeze
I¡¯ll blow you a kiss
goodbye.
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Bronze Dragon (Michaelwalker)
Starlite Moderator
Username: Michaelwalker

Posted on Monday, October 27, 2003 - 06:50 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Pedro -

Thank you for your interest in the lai. Your syllabic count is impeccable, but the rhyme you use is very loosely constructed. Tighten up the rhyme scheme and you'll have a perfect lai!
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Sharon Peeples (Pianolove)
Starlite Member
Username: Pianolove

Posted on Tuesday, March 16, 2004 - 11:11 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I'm sorry Michael but I posted this in the wrong forum, so forgive my repetition. I want to know if this write qualifies as free verse. It does have a metrical cadence, but being a musician I find it difficult NOT to write in that manner. AFRAID OF THE LIGHT http://www.thestarlitecafe.com/poems/82/poem_616308.html
Sharon Peeples
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chamilion (The_chamilion)
Starlite Member
Username: The_chamilion

Posted on Thursday, July 21, 2005 - 10:00 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Title: Politically (in)correct
URL: http://www.thestarlitecafe.com/poems/92/poem_760017.html


Until Somebody says differently, I am going to call this one, the double reverse word acronym
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Elizabeth Guyton
Starlite Member
Username: Olddessa

Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 05:47 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I have never tried metered form befoe so bare with me.
He was stern
To clash , yet, you could learn
It was e nough if you could see him
Standing there in his jac ket, strong, as light grew dim
I see him, in the mid dle of the past, it‘s grim
Like a reed he’d hand le, bend with fate
The gauge of a man’s slate
awry fate
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Bronze Dragon
Starlite Moderator
Username: Michaelwalker

Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 06:07 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

This was beautiful, Elizabeth!
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
________________________________________________
Never meddle in the affairs of Dragons!
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Poetic_muses
Starlite Member
Username: Poetic_muses

Posted on Friday, August 25, 2006 - 06:29 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I'm um thinking about the FOS, but as usual Michael (I'm lost) lol
What else is new?!
LMAO
**HUGS**
Marianne
*sits back and watches and reads the musing poems before her**
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut."

~Albert Einstein~
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Sirens~song
Starlite Member
Username: Sirens~song

Posted on Friday, December 21, 2007 - 06:14 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Michael..I notice these posts are well over a year old..so I am curious to know..can we still try these forms and get feedback?
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Michaeldragon
Starlite Member
Username: Michaeldragon

Posted on Friday, December 21, 2007 - 08:37 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

yes, we're quite open for business! Please share what you have and we will give that feedback!


If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. ***
Use link to purchase my first collection of poetry, Knowing He Must Go
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Sirens~song
Starlite Member
Username: Sirens~song

Posted on Sunday, December 23, 2007 - 12:12 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Thanks so much..I shall return with something~Jade

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