 |
| |
Thread |
Last Poster |
Posts |
Last Post |
  | Archive through August 02, 2005 | Satanic Inc (Satanic | 10 | 08-02-05 08:30 pm |
| Archive through August 04, 2005 | ALIANNE OUSSAMEUR (A | 10 | 08-04-05 08:27 am |
| Archive through August 05, 2005 | Jasmine Andrea Snow | 10 | 08-05-05 02:01 pm |
| Archive through August 05, 2005 | ALIANNE OUSSAMEUR (A | 10 | 08-05-05 08:39 pm |
| Archive through August 06, 2005 | ALIANNE OUSSAMEUR (A | 10 | 08-06-05 08:14 am |
| Archive through August 08, 2005 | ALIANNE OUSSAMEUR (A | 10 | 08-08-05 09:09 pm |
| Archive through August 12, 2005 | Michael .P (Mik3y) | 10 | 08-12-05 08:57 pm |
| Archive through August 21, 2005 | Michael .P (Mik3y) | 10 | 08-21-05 09:52 pm |
| Archive through August 23, 2005 | Michael .P (Mik3y) | 10 | 08-23-05 09:17 am |
| Archive through August 24, 2005 | Anita Stith Tafolla | 10 | 08-24-05 09:15 am |
| Archive through August 28, 2005 | Bread Crumbs (Bread_ | 10 | 08-28-05 08:49 pm |
| |
 Closed: New threads not accepted on this page |
|
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
    
Michael .P (Mik3y)
Starlite Member
Username: Mik3y
| | Posted on Friday, September 30, 2005 - 08:48 pm: | 
|
Well, i've taken forever almost and i apologise but here is the start of my personal testimony. I ask for anyone who has a personal testamony of any faith, whether they be atheist, muslim, buddhaist,jewish..you get the point. I would like this to be the place for us to share our personal journeys in our faith through this life. I have only given you a start into my reunion with God, but i do hope you get something out of it 
_____________________________________________
I guess its important to give some sort of background without telling you my entire life story..so here goes.
I grew up in a Catholic family, with my mum and dad and my two younger brothers and one older sister. I never knew much about my family history at all, but who does when they are young. I went to church every sunday and said my prayers each night with my mum or dad before bed time. We didn't have it too bad my dad was earning quite a bit back then and my mum was always at home to look after us kids. My dad however was quite abusive and very strict on us all, even my mother. When i would go to school i would run around and do everything wrong i could..i was young i didn't have much care for anything. The only two subjects i was interested in were English and religion..thats all that really showed any importance to me. Maths was my worst heh i'd rather cut up carpet or get sent out of the classroom then do math. Anyways as the years progressed i got older and my sister even older! As she was breaking into her teens she gave my mum and dad quite alot to handle. She broke many boundaries and helped quite a bit of my parents history reveal itself. During this time my father would get even more abusive towards us kids and my mother, but he would always say he was nothing like his dad. I learnt as i got a bit older that my Fathers real dad would abuse him and lock him up in cupboards, and it was true he was nothing like his father. Even still though my dad grew to be even more abusive. My sister left pretty much right after she got out of highschool, and moved to melbourne. Before leaving she helped tear out family apart from each other. I found it really difficult to talk to my mother or father and even my brothers about anything.
Soon i was in my teenage years at highschool and things were getting much worse, i was hanging out with the wrong people and doing things i knew were wrong. My friends were racist, drug users, alcohol abusers, and treated women very poorly. If my mum knew she would of killed me because she always made me and my brothers promise that we would not be like our father. But, i too ended up abusing alcohol and experimenting with drugs, smoking, and to my mums horror treating women really badly. Women were sex objects at this point in time, easy to booze up or get high and abuse them. Thankfully i never did abuse them any more than verbally. Some of my friends however did, and i would do nothing to stop that except turn a blind eye. I was approached by my highschool deputy and asked to leave for a number of incidents at school and i was forced to make a decision to leave and find another school or go back and keep my mouth shut and do my work and just cut myself off for a few years till i finished school. I ended up taking this to the extreme, as each of my friends moved to different schools i was forced to turn to those people who i'd been mean to and abused earlier. I wasn't very good at this, but i always remembered those who did give me the second chance. In class i wouldn't say a word, and when i didn'nt know how to do anything i wouldn't ask for help id just sit there quietly. I would never reveal anything in my life to anyone, not one of my friends or family, no one. This was the worst thing i could have done because as i was withdrawing from myself things were getting worse at home. My mother and father were fighting more often and my dad was being even more abusive towards my mother and us kids. One time my father had cut my mums head open as he threw stuff at her in the kitchen, as i looked at my mum crying more in pain over her family been torn apart then her been hit i promised her i would never ever treat a woman poorly and never strike out at anyone ever again.
While i wasn't in trouble for anything to do with conduct in class or not i did start to get abused for not doing work or work poorly done. I started to get even more depressed and withdrawn from everyone. My whole Family was falling apart and i had these teachers telling me that school work was more important and that i was wasting away my life. I grew resentful and hated them, thinking how can anyone tell me whats important in my life when they don't know the crap im going through at home. On top of the dramas at home i had developed a majorly low self esteem and was very down on myself, i would pick every fault i could find and exagerate it so much that i would tear myself apart. During this time more and more was been revealed about my family; i had found out my sister had been raped/abused by one of her ex boyfriends and my mum was also abused by her sisters ex Boyfriend. While this was a fair while ago it helped grow this enormous hate in my heart, i hated people and i didn't care much for God either. While i knew from a young age my father was dying from cancer i did not know that it was Aids related cancer. I discovered that my dad was bi sexual and that he had cheated on my mum more than once and he had contracted Aids at one of these times. Im a very big homophobe i will be the first to admit that, i said i didn't care to my dad though and lied. I started to hate my father for cheating on my mum for being abusive and for being gay, i hated gay people. I had alot of friends and the media at the time promoting everyone to keep an open mind about this sort of thing. My response in my mind was what the ****** do they know, my own father is one!! School got worse and worse..i was approaching the end of the year and i was set to fail every subject, i didn't have anyone that i'd talked to about any of this either. I would actually find myself praying to God in times of despair, however i would not go to mass or say that i loved God or believed in Him, i would only pray to him in despair. Later my father revealed a bit more to me about his father and the way he grew up to help explain why he might be the way he is today. He had told me how from a very young age he was abused by his father, and when his father left his mother [who was a slut..excuse the french] left him with her mother. The mother looked after him and would leave him at the Catholic church to help out with the priests and brothers. There he was vunerable and was taken advantage of and abused by members of the church, he later became a brother..i have no idea why?! and then he met my mother and left the brotherhood. When my father told me this it did help me understand a little bit more about why he might be the way he is now, however it also lead me to hating the church.. i wanted nothing to do with the Catholic Church!
Keeping myself withdrawed from everybody i grew more and more depressed and my self esteem dropped even lower, i began to think suicidal thoughts. At this point in time a friend of mine was considering suicide and i would come up with the best answers i could to stop him from doing it..and he eventually did turn away from those thoughts. I seemed to look at everything i wrote thinking that it was complete rubbish for me, that it didn't apply. I actually thought that i was not suposed to be here, that i was meant to die ages ago and somehow missed my turn. I decided id fix this error by ending my own life, i would think long and hard about it..how i would do it etc But in the back of my mind i would acknowledge that i was only going to do it when i knew for sure there was no better alternative. I did think back to when i was a kid my mum and her church friends and my dad would say his going to be a priest, later i wanted to be a fireman or something. As the years got on though i wanted to be dead and that was my only ambition. I'd always felt that i needed alot more then i was getting in life, there was always something telling me that i really urge for more, and that there is a better way. When ever i did something wrong i knew it was wrong, my conscious was a way of thinking which i had clearly developed at a young age. I knew that i was to be nothing like my father [in his bad ways] and nothing like those friends i had had earlier. Despite all this i felt like the true reason i wasn't satisfied is that i should have died, i was that convinced that the Big man or whoever had stuffed up or i had..and that i could rectify it by ending my own life. I guess i justified this way of thinking because i acknowledge i was already dead inside, that the rest of me had gone and left the remaining part of me here. It sounds really stupid to me now, but its frightening to think how convinced i was back then. All i could hear was failure, hopeless, dead beat..everything was just thrown into my face and i was doing the dangerous thing by accepting all these lies. You can think what you like but i know now that this is Satan who whispers these words of despair over our heads, he will tell you the biggest lies that almost seem believeable at first. I would take them at first glance and exaagerate them enormously! Teachers would pick up on me for poor work, my lack of effort and my failure to hand in assignments. This would all just fuel the fire, failure at school would be twisted into failure in life and hate towards them for not understanding me and assuming everything was fine at home, that id have nothing more important to do.
I started to develop a serious case of insomnia i could not shut off the thoughts that plagued my mind, i would belt my head and hit my head into walls i would try and make physical pain that could out weigh the emotional pain. None of my efforts worked and things got even worse, it was months with no sleep i couldn't even pass out from exhuastion. My body would rest but my mind just would not shutup. I did tell someone about my insomnia and they suggested i get all the thoughts and get rid of them onto paper when i can't sleep so i did. I wrote and i wrote, i'd write poems, i'd write songs, i'd write short stories even, i'd draw although i was not good at it. I finally made an effort to speak to someone, i rang up my friend who was going to commit suicide not so long ago and i told him just a bit about things at home and how hard it was. He told me i had to go and tell the school counseller or my year co-ordinator because thats what he did to help himself. Well i went to school the next day and i chickened out, that night i couldn't sleep and the thoughts of despair got worse and even louder in my head. Satan was winning me over, until i cired out to God in all my pain and i asked him to help me..i said if you help me lord please i will be yours forever please stop this pain it is too much for me to bear. Well the next day i went and i chickend out again at school....i went into my art class and the teacher was yelling at me again for not doing my homework..my head just got worse i went to the wall and hit it really hard a few times..i broke down and cired and then the art teacher could see my pain. She went to get the school counseller but he wasn't there..then she comforted me and i said i had to see mr walker..so the following second period i went to see mr walker, he wasn't there but i waited. When he came i told him just enough to make him see i was in pain and in need of some help. I then saw the school counseller because it was too much for my year co-ordinator to handle. Later my principle and teachers were informed and they showed alot more compassion towards me. It was hard for me to tell my school counseller anything because i knew him and my dad knew each other way back. I told him everything though, i did however hide alot of stuff concerning how i felt about myself..instead i exagerated my problems..saying that i was more abusive, and had treated women even more poorly etc After telling them what i could the counseller seeked some professional help for me because he knew i was on the edge of suicide. I wrote to a friend who i had lied to years ago, i had told this guy at school that i played drums and that i would play for him and there came a time when they wanted me for the talent quest at school ages ago and i totally turned my eye to him and his cousin. Ever since then i'd really wanted to apologise to him but didnt know how, so that night to kill time during my insomnia i wrote a letter to him apologising and admitting how stupid i was and to tell his cousin as well. In the letter i also gave a bit of insight into how low i felt and that i felt my theme song was probably Adams song by blink 182. He eventually wrote back and admired me for my humbleness and humility, and he accepted my apology. He then gave me some advice and gave me a better more uplifting song by the smashing pumpkins "Today".
Despite relaxation techniques etc the insomnia would not go away and i was beginning to give up. I knew that night i was going to make myself better or i was going to stab myself in the heart and die. I tried to persuade myself from suicide as much as i could, i went on to the internet talking to some overseas friends id met online i was searching for answers.. i did not want to die! I was concerned about my two little brothers and my mum because i loved them very much. I couldnt leave them in this world alone especially not with my father about. My dad was being more open about his sexuality around the house and it was killing me inside, i think my dad felt that since we all knew it was time for him to shine like any other poof who took the spotlight to confess to the whole world their sexuality in the last 10 or so years. I began even thinking about whether i was one because my father was one, and this just belted my self esteem even more..because i remembered the time when i withdrew myself that some one from skool did take advantage of me even in a little way. I was tearing myself apart looking for answers, my head still swelling with a knife not far off from reach..
This was it tonight/morning i got better or i ended it, i cried out to God my promise again if you make this pain stop Lord i am yours forever. I did not have much faith in anything right now, but i had not forgotten all the promises God had made to me in religion class and from the stories and scriptures my mum and dad would of told me. So i had a little bit of Faith as small as a mustard seed left, otherwise i assume i just would of gone and killed myself without bothering to look for the truth. When it was about 5am i managed to make it to my bedroom and aside from thinking about suffocating myself i just dropped dead asleep. I woke up with not a pain in my head, i woke up alive, and soon after waking up my mother came in with a parcel. This parcel was for me from my aunty; i opened it up and there was a stuffed toy bulldog [bulldogs is my football team in the Australian national rugby league] and a card wishing me luck in my Hsc and these trying times.
I'd be stupid to think that this was just a toy and card from my aunty; this was a message From God. A symbol of just one of the things i would have missed out on if i had of ended my life that night/morning! And that was true it was one of many Great and wonderful blessings that were headed my way i.e seeing both my little brothers grow up, one is now 18 in december and the other 13 in october 31st
This is the starting point of me turning around but i have much more ..lol it will take some time. Depending on the kind of replies i get to this i will write some more about my reunion with God and His Church
Michael william James
|
Michael .P (Mik3y)
Starlite Member
Username: Mik3y
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 07, 2005 - 10:45 pm: |
|
It was definitely the later scott
Michael william James
|
Scott Whitmore (Emhotep)
Starlite Member
Username: Emhotep
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 06, 2005 - 07:57 am: |
|
Well
Gee Michael, I don't know if that was sarcastic in tone or not. I will believe
it to be of the latter for the sake of Grace and
Good will between us 
Scott
ENUF SAID  }
Ona Gwe, Waki
Wm Scott Whitmore
aka
Em~Hotep
|
Michael .P (Mik3y)
Starlite Member
Username: Mik3y
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 06, 2005 - 06:42 am: |
|
Well God bless your dear heart then scott *HUGZ*
Michael william James
|
Scott Whitmore (Emhotep)
Starlite Member
Username: Emhotep
| | Posted on Monday, September 05, 2005 - 09:18 am: |
|
That's Just What I Was Trying To Get Across By My
Ranting On Michael..!
The Beautiful Idea That You Started Soon Went And
Made A Sharp Left Turn. I Love My Lord With Every
Part Of Me, And To See People Acting As Some Have,
Especialy Over Something As Holy As This Thread It
Rips Into My Heart. That Is My Testamony For Here
Today Before Everybody.
CONVERSATION WITH GOD
I said, "God, I hurt".
And God said, "I know". I said, " God I cry a lot".
And God said, " That is why I gave you tears". I Said, "God I am so depressed".
And God said, "That is why I gave you sunshine". I said, "God life is so hard".
And God said, "That is why I gave you loved ones". I said, "God my loved one died".
And God said, "so did mine". I said, "God it is such a loss".
And God said, "I saw mine nailed to a cross". I said, God your loved one lives".
And God said, "So does yours". I said, "God where are they now"?
And God said, "Mine is on my right and yours is in the light".
I said, "God it hurts". And God said, "I know".
Please Go Visit This Link
"http://Click here: Don't Hurry, Take Time "
Scott
Ona Gwe, Waki
Wm Scott Whitmore
aka
Em~Hotep
|
Michael .P (Mik3y)
Starlite Member
Username: Mik3y
| | Posted on Monday, September 05, 2005 - 07:54 am: |
|
Sorry to play your strings a bit like a guitar here Scott..but what would be nice is if people only posted their personal sharings on here about their faith and beliefs Thanks
Michael william James
|
IsisBlueSaphire (Isisbluesaphire)
Starlite Member
Username: Isisbluesaphire
| | Posted on Monday, September 05, 2005 - 06:53 am: |
|
I say "Amen" to all of that Scott.} |
Scott Whitmore (Emhotep)
Starlite Member
Username: Emhotep
| | Posted on Monday, September 05, 2005 - 03:50 am: |
|
  
The One
Thing Which I Would Really Enjoy Seeing In Here Is
A Atmosphere Where Instead Of Looking Down On The
Others For What They Say And Believe We Could Look
For The Good Things In Who They Are. Don't Crush
Anything Said, Rather Try To Praise Them For That.
I May Not Have A Long And Happy Life Because Of My
Health & Depression Problems, Can't I Be For Sure
If I'll Ever Make It To Heaven Or Not. Each Time I
Come In Here Anymore I Find Myself Pondering Does
Trying My Best Make A Differance Or Worth It. Well
Can Anyone Of You Help Me With That Answer, Or Am
I Doomed. Should I Slice The Femoral Artery, Could
This World & All Of Us Be So Lost That The Way Is
To Far Gone.
" WILL SOMEONE PLEASE STEP UP AND ANSWER "
O Lord We Beg Of Thee.." Increase Our Faith "..!
And He said to them, " Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.
Matthew 17:20 NASB
And the apostles said to the Lord, " Increase our faith."
So the Lord said, "If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, "Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,' and it would obey you.
Luke 17:5,6 NKJV
But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Esaias saith, Lord, who hath believed our report?
So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
Romans 10:16,17 KJV
Scott 
Ona Gwe, Waki
Wm Scott Whitmore
aka
Em~Hotep
|
Michael .P (Mik3y)
Starlite Member
Username: Mik3y
| | Posted on Saturday, September 03, 2005 - 06:49 pm: |
|
Zaheer i only commented because i'd seen you post that same cat stevens testamony and others more than once over these forums. I don't know if you took it the wrong way, but i meant it when i said i'd never abuse you, call you an idiot/stupid or any other disrespectful name. If you had seen any sarcasm in that then it was from you, not from me!
Michael william James
|
Scott Whitmore (Emhotep)
Starlite Member
Username: Emhotep
| | Posted on Saturday, September 03, 2005 - 03:45 am: |
|
SORRY
I MADE THE MISTAKE IN MY LAST POST OF LEAVING OUT,
AND I QUOTE " This Thread Was Started Out By > Michael < Zaheer ". Thank You Very Much
For Catching That Antia. I Feel
Like A Horse's Patootie For Not Seeing It MySelf    . I am
VERY SORRY FOR THAT FOUL UP MIKE..!
I Hope That You Can Forgive Me For That
Ding~Bat MisPrint Posting Of Mine.
May God's Loving Embrace Always Grace Thee
Scott Whitmore
zanthor2691@aol.com
Ona Gwe, Waki
Wm Scott Whitmore
aka
Em~Hotep
|
Anita Stith Tafolla (A_r_tafolla)
Starlite Member
Username: A_r_tafolla
| | Posted on Saturday, September 03, 2005 - 12:41 am: |
|
Scott, you've got this thread confused with one of the others. Mick started this one and has requested that we only post our OWN personal testimonies.
Tess has said here and elsewhere that Starlite can't afford the storage space for such long posts - usually there are links where people can direct us to the place where they have taken the information from.
I don't feel I'm questioning people's right to live their beliefs when I've asked in previous posts that everybody's posts be fairly concise and not criticize others' beliefs, just present their own.
"The Opposite of War isn't Peace, it's Creation."
Jonathan Larson
|
Scott Whitmore (Emhotep)
Starlite Member
Username: Emhotep
| | Posted on Saturday, September 03, 2005 - 12:01 am: |
|
What
is " WRONG WITH EVERYBODY HERE..??????? " This Thread Was Started By Zaheer For A
" SPECIAL SPIRITUAL REASON & PURPOSE
IN AND OF THE HEART AND SOUL " This Isn't
BAGDAD OR NATZI GERMANY. It Is A Place Of Freedom
Where EACH & EVERYONE OF US, HAS LORD'S GIVEN ACTS
TO PRACTICE OUR BELIEVES AS WE SO WISH. Now Quit
With This Totalitarianism Attitudes, And Be the New Creation The Lord Has Made Within You.
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:31,32 NASB
Thanks be unto God for His wonderful gift:
Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God
is the object of our faith; the only faith
that saves is faith in Him.
Scott Whitmore
zanthor2691@aol.com
Ona Gwe, Waki
Wm Scott Whitmore
aka
Em~Hotep
|
zaheer - uddin (Zaheer)
Starlite Member
Username: Zaheer
| | Posted on Friday, September 02, 2005 - 09:09 pm: |
|
Dear Tess if you you would only go to my threads and please check the irrelenant postings of MIchael |
Tess (Tess)
Starlite Administrator
Username: Tess
| | Posted on Friday, September 02, 2005 - 09:06 pm: |
|
Zaheer and Micky, check your attitudes at the door.
And Zaheer, Mick started this thread for personal testimony. Your post was not a personal testimony. You should only be testifying for yourself in this thread. We have asked people to limit text posts in this area, as they are taking up so much space on our server and costing us the big bucks. This site is not a pulpit for any religion. You don't seem to respect my authority at this site, but I do know for a fact that Albert asked you to please stop posting such lenghty texts at this part of the site. Please respect our needs. Or send us a check to help us pay for the overhead. |
zaheer - uddin (Zaheer)
Starlite Member
Username: Zaheer
| | Posted on Friday, September 02, 2005 - 08:46 pm: |
|
i really pity your helpnessess---hey Miky boy grow up-- your covert abuse is similar to the outbursts of a ten year old-- must i remind you these are personal testomanies of converts--
i understand your problem bud hugs zaheer |
Michael .P (Mik3y)
Starlite Member
Username: Mik3y
| | Posted on Friday, September 02, 2005 - 04:35 pm: |
|
Zaheer i'd never be abusive and call you an idiot or anything of the sort.. But i do wonder why you post other testamonies and regurgitate other teachings on a topic listed "Personal Testamonies" Please do not post anything but your own on here, thankyou luv
MiCk.
Michael william James
|
zaheer - uddin (Zaheer)
Starlite Member
Username: Zaheer
| | Posted on Thursday, September 01, 2005 - 08:35 pm: |
|
By Jocelyn Wiener, Times Staff Writer. © St. Petersburg Times. Published October 7, 2002
Each year, about 20,000 people in the United States convert to Islam. Many find they must defend the decision, especially to their families.
The first time 21-year-old Rose Munoz deflates the Whoopie cushion, everyone jumps, then begins to giggle. Rolling her eyes at her vice president's antics, 19-year-old Amal Kurdi, the president, calls the members of the Sisters United Muslim Association back to attention.
It is just before noon on Friday, and the young women, most of whom wear hijab, the traditional Muslim head covering, are simultaneously making their way through an extensive agenda (student-teacher dinner, poetry reading, highway cleanup, beauty tips) and a veritable feast of college student food (strawberries and Cool Whip, Keebler Chips Deluxe, carrots and ranch dressing).
One young woman, a recent convert, suggests that SUMA host a dinner for the parents of converts. Rose, who also is a convert, embraces any opportunity to spread awareness about Islam.
"We can have different people get up and talk about why we converted,and how we faced hardship with our parents," Rose says.
Every year, about 20,000 people in the United States convert to Islam, in addition to those who convert in prison, according to a study conducted last year by the Council on American-Islamic Relations. Of these converts, there are more women than men, the majority of them young and unmarried, says Hodan Hassan, spokeswoman for CAIR. They come to Islam because they have Muslim co-workers and friends, because they have Muslim boyfriends, or because they start studying and find they agree with the tenets of a religion thate mphasizes modesty and community.
In the past year, Muslim women have frequently been called upon to defend their role in their faith. But young women who convert to Islam often face an additional challenge: persuading their families to accept their decisions. Islam insists that people maintain close family ties and show respect for their parents. For those who are going against their parents' wishes merely by practicing Islam, negotiating a balance can prove difficult.
The weekend she converted, Rose drove to her parents' home, turned off the television and announced, "I converted to Islam. This is how we pray."
"Who is Jesus to you now?" Rose's mother asked.
"He's a prophet, a great man, just not God."
Her parents, Colombian immigrants who had moved from New York City to St. Petersburg when Rose was 5, assumed it was a phase. They initially didn't mind, as long as she didn't wear hijab.
Rose did not intend to wear the scarf. But slowly, she started covering her hair with baseball caps. Then she moved on to bandanas. Her Muslim friends assured her that when she was ready to wear hijab, she would know. The day she put it on, Rose felt liberated.
"I used to dress very provocatively," she says. "People say, "Don't you miss it?' What do I miss? I gained something. I don't get gawked at by random men anymore."
Rose says her parents, however, were horrified by her decision to wear hijab.
"You chose your religion over us," she says they told her. "People will discriminate against you. You're making yourself a third-rate citizen." She says her father calls her every time he hears about an attack on a Muslim. By wearing hijab, he tells her, "You've basically painted a bull's-eye on you saying "shoot me.'"
Her younger sister, a 15-year-old high school sophomore who wants to be a movie star, asked her, "How are you going to heaven?"
Rose Munoz moves so naturally in her elegant peach-colored hijab and her matching loose-fitting julbab that it seems surprising her first exposure to Islam took place only three years ago. A friend lent her a copy of the Koran. Rose flipped through it a bit, read maybe five pages, then put it away.
Although she had been baptized twice -- by Roman Catholics in New York and Baptists in St. Petersburg -- Rose hadn't felt comfortable in either faith. She was scolded for asking too many questions and gossiped about for wearing tight clothes and partying.
By the time she started studying at USF, Rose had long since stopped attending church. She began seeing groups of young women, their hair covered with hijab, walking together around campus. She started looking for them at the library every Friday. On one of these Fridays, Sept. 3, 1999, a month into her freshman year, Rose approached them.
"I really want a 'head thing' and to come to the mosque if you guys will take me," she blurted out. Amal, who remains one of Rose's best friends, was in that group. The girls brought Rose home, gave her appropriate clothing, and invited her to join them for Friday prayers at the mosque.
"It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen," Rose remembers. "It was so calming and so peaceful. Everybody was bowing down and praying. I'd always been at churches where the front pews were reserved for the people who gave the most money."
When the prayers were over, Rose looked at Amal. "I want to convert right now," she said. "Are you sure?" Amal asked.
"This is it," Rose answered. She could feel it.
Rose's struggle to defend her faith to her family was intensified by the climate of fear that many Muslims experienced in the aftermath of Sept. 11. Despite such difficulties, in the 13 months since Sept. 11, many Muslim groups have noticed an increase in new converts.
"We've seen a surge of interest in Islam," says Altaf Ali, director of CAIR Florida, "and as that surge increases, so does the conversion ratio." Britney Johnson, a 17-year-old senior at Durant High School, is one of the new converts. Raised in a Baptist family, the fourth of seven children, she had the same initial reaction as many of her peers in the aftermath of Sept. 11.
"I thought we should turn the Middle East into a parking lot," she remembers. But at that time, Britney's family lived next door to a Muslim family, and Britney was friendly with many of the neighbors' children. So she bought The Idiot's Guide to Islam, and started studying. That was in November 2001. After a few months, a friend gave her Amal's phone number. Britney started attending Sunday classes at the mosque. She converted this past August. "I was nervous, dizzy," she says. "This has been the most incredible month of my life."
[Times photo: Ken Helle. Converts take classes and study books such as the Sahih Muslim, a collection of sayings and deeds by the Muslim prophet Mohammad.]
Britney says that if she could choose to clarify one misconception about Islam, she would explain that women are not oppressed. She says her family has accepted her conversion "pretty well." "It's so opposite from what we hear on the news," she says. "In my world religions class, people say, "Wow, I never knew Islam was so close to Judaism and Christianity.'"
Muslim leaders are also quick to dispel many of the myths surrounding the role women play in Islam. Hassan of CAIR says many of these stereotypes arise from the incorrect understanding "that we're voiceless, that it is mandated in Islam that we have no rights, that we're chattel."
Sofian Abdelaziz, director of the American Muslim Association of North America, says that Islam emphasizes the importance of women's education.
"In the mosque, women are supposed to be active, to teach," he says. "The daughter of the prophet used to teach Islam, even to men." Hassan says actions taken by specific governments, especially Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia, have led many people in the West to believe Islam is a misogynistic faith, when in fact those governments are breaking Islamic law. Hassan notes that Indonesia, the largest Muslim country, has a female president, Egypt and Jordan have a higher percentage of female engineers and doctors than the United States, and a larger percentage of women sit in the Iranian parliament than in the U.S. Congress.
"There is no compulsion -- and this is in the Koran -- in faith," she says. "You give people the option to cover. If you force them, it goes against Islam."
For many young women, the emphasis on modesty is a crucial reason for their attraction to Islam. Just three weeks ago, Arrica Clark's life was, by her own estimation, a mess. "I used to be real boy crazy, wearing those little shorts," says the 27-year-old single mother, as she sits in McDonald's watching three of her four small children play with Happy Meal figurines. The father of 6-year-old Kashayla and 5-year-old Lonnie sends Arrica some child support. The father of 3-year-old Jamellah and 14-month-old Fatima does not. To make ends meet, Arrica works as a cashier at a local U-Save, leaving the children in government-subsidized day care.
Stressed from what she calls "living in the world," she says she used to "cuss like a sailor" at work and scream at her children at home. As a high school student, Arrica had known some Muslim girls and had once tried wearing hijab. She had taken it off after three days because she was confused. The father of Jamellah and Fatima is Muslim, and had encouraged Arrica to consider Islam. Arrica had only been with her most recent boyfriend for two months when she became pregnant with a fifth child, due in April. Her boyfriend hit her. She kicked him out. A few days later, she went to an open house at the mosque, and said shahada, the prayer for accepting Islam.
"I felt like a whole new person," she says. "I felt clean. Men can't holler at me," she adds. "I don't miss that part." Her father, who is Christian, doesn't know she converted. She doesn't think he'd approve.
[Times photo: Ken Helle. Amal Kurdi, center, in discussion with Taqwa Aquil, left, and Anna Harbaoui at the end of their Islamic conversion class.]
Rose still plays soccer with other SUMA members, still rides horseback, still visits Busch Gardens, still eats pizza and watches movies and dances when she is alone with her friends. What she misses most, she says, is a normal relationship with her family. She believes that, with time, such a relationship is possible. "My mom loves me so much she'll buy me scarves sometimes," Rose smiles. "My grandmother gave me a beautiful, velvet embroidered scarf. They'll respect my prayer, but at the same time ask, "Why are you so fanatical?"
In the shadowy side room of the al-Qassam mosque in north Tampa, 10 young women sit in a semi-circle on the beige and brown-striped carpet. A fan whirs overhead, gently stirring the flowing scarves -- ivory, violet, cobalt, sage -- that conceal heads of blond, brown and black hair. Loose dresses, worn for modesty, drape gracefully over bodies thick and thin.
It is Sunday, just after noon, and Amal and her friend Taqwa Aquil are leading a weekly class, with support from Rose and Jennifer Valko, a quiet 20-year-old who converted two years ago and is co-vice president of SUMA. The more recent converts, including Arrica and Britney, mostly listen and ask questions. "What if you haven't prayed and it's time to go to sleep?" asks Britney. "I've heard it's better not to pray tired," Rose says. "That's true, but you should take the necessary steps, set an alarm," Amal replies. They talk about the prayer for guidance. "This might sound silly, but I'm a dorky student and I do it before I take a test," Amal confesses. "If I'm all stressed out, I tell myself, I studied, I did what I can, and now I'm just leaving it to him to help me through."
"You know what's cool?" Rose says, looking up. "In the Koran, Allah's mercy is greater than his wrath. All these prayers are really long, but the one for forgiveness is really simple."
At 2 p.m., the imam chants the call to prayer. The young women stand in a row, their eyes closed, their heads bowed. Slowly, quiet sounds penetrate the silence of the mosque -- the whirring of the fan, the cries of children outside, the rustle of dresses as the young women kneel, bow, kneel, stand, and the sound of the imam's voice, calling the name of Allah.
http://thetruereligion.org/modules/xfsection/article.php?articleid=158
|
Scott Whitmore (Emhotep)
Starlite Member
Username: Emhotep
| | Posted on Thursday, September 01, 2005 - 12:25 am: |
|
OH NO ELLIOTT, YOU WERE GONE...???? 
I GUESS THAT IT SLIPPED PASSED ME WHILE I'VE BEEN
BUSY TRYING TO GET A FORUM OF " REPECTFUL
DISCUSSION FOR EACH OTHER " MAINTAINED IN
HERE, SORRY NOT TO HAVE SAID ANYTHING TO YOU UNTIL
NOW.
THESE SPIRITUAL DISCUSSIONS HAVE GONE TO HELL IN A HAND BASKET WITH CHIAN BOWS LATELY, NO ONE WILL
TRY TO LISTEN TO ANYBODY WITHOUT SHOVING THIER OWN
OPINION DOWN THIER THROAT WITH A SLEDGE HAMMER. IT
IS HIGH TIME WE ALL AS " ADULTS "
QUIT ACTING LIKE THE BACKSIDE OF A HORSE OR GEORGE
BUSH, AND DO BETTER. WE ALL HAVE THAT WHICH WE DO
BELIEVE IN & ABOUT, LET'S RESPECT EACH OTHERS OK.
Scott Whitmore
zanthor2691@aol.com
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
SEND YOUR COMMENTS TO
Ona Gwe, Waki
Wm Scott Whitmore
aka
Em~Hotep
|
Michael .P (Mik3y)
Starlite Member
Username: Mik3y
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 31, 2005 - 11:50 pm: |
|
They had no right whatsoever.. This is clearly said by the Church when it makes comments like No wrong will every be justified, not even for another good. Simply meaning you cannot do anything bad for the purpose of Good.
So i could never see the church condoning or encouraging such things, thank God the chances of another inquisition or anything like it are nill.
Michael william James
|
Satanic Inc (Satanic_inc)
Starlite Member
Username: Satanic_inc
| | Posted on Wednesday, August 31, 2005 - 03:46 am: |
|
scott take it to "da chopah" lol its been some time since i come along starlite :D miss me?! hopefully not but if you did thats aewsome man! talking about inquisitions... did the church have holy rights to do such things? now don't be like em' germans that denie the holocaust... 
I'm shackled to this alter
sacrificed to their God
|
Scott Whitmore (Emhotep)
Starlite Member
Username: Emhotep
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 30, 2005 - 10:51 pm: |
|
All My
Good People Of StarLite Cafe, We Are Not Running A
Church Court Within These Forums, Nor Are They The
Grand Inquisitions. Instead What They Should Truly
Be About Is " Everyone's Personal Freedom
To Speak Of Their Own Ways In Which They Choose To
Believe In Religion And The Lord And Not How Wrong
Somebody Is When They Don't Agree With Your Own
Opinion ".
I delight to do Your will, O my God;
your Law is within my heart."
**************************************************
I have proclaimed glad tidings of righteousness
in the great congregation;
Behold, I will not restrain my lips,
O LORD, You know.
Psalm 40:8,9 NASB
**************************************************
The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom,
and his tongue speaks what is just.
**************************************************
The law of his God is in his heart;
his feet do not slip.
Psalm 37:30,31 NIV
Please Let Us Try Living His Word, Not Just Read It.
Scott Whitore
zanthor2691@aol.com
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Where You Can Reach Me
To Talk Further..
Ona Gwe, Waki
Wm Scott Whitmore
aka
Em~Hotep
|
Michael .P (Mik3y)
Starlite Member
Username: Mik3y
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 30, 2005 - 07:34 pm: |
|
Live it and then tell me its all one big lie Satan.Inc
Michael william James
|
Satanic Inc (Satanic_inc)
Starlite Member
Username: Satanic_inc
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 30, 2005 - 06:56 pm: |
|
Anyone wants to come into my "Fools Paradise"? I can promise you free food and... thats about it lol... arg thats what the bible talks about.. a foolish paradise think about it man... jesus and god work like the Nazi party, concentration camp, dead, or do the dirty work... three classes thats it?! jeez... and jesus does have a point, when no one loves you ( not even mommy or daddy) "god" loves you... or what ever the heck that is... either way its a source of "love" or reasurance as i like to view it...
I'm shackled to this alter
sacrificed to their God
|
Michael .P (Mik3y)
Starlite Member
Username: Mik3y
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 30, 2005 - 08:49 am: |
|
I assume you want to know where im quoting from? Im not quoting..this is my sharing on my faith and what i have learnt from studying the scriptures.
Michael william James
|
Ashleey NIKO (Ayisha)
Starlite Member
Username: Ayisha
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 30, 2005 - 08:09 am: |
|
Can you clarify why God was such as you stated and did He have a good reason to be as your quote states?
"In the old God is depicted of great anger in vengance." |
Michael .P (Mik3y)
Starlite Member
Username: Mik3y
| | Posted on Monday, August 29, 2005 - 07:25 am: |
|
You must understand that without the New testament the Old holds little meaning. In the old God is depicted of great anger in vengance.. such things are put into a real perspective when Jesus Teaches about the peace love and mercy of God. I mean ultimately yes he is the judge at the end of the tunnel..But its not as clear cut as the fundamentalists make out! We cannot say who God will send to hell or not..we can only show people what God has revealed to us and what might help us come closer to God rather then further away. Even in my own experience of God i have come to know that God is ever most loving and merciful..he might seem tough but he is fair. For example, he never uses us like robots or takes away our free will. We cannot love, without chosing to love.
Michael william James
|
Scott Whitmore (Emhotep)
Starlite Member
Username: Emhotep
| | Posted on Sunday, August 28, 2005 - 11:30 pm: |
|
I
" FULLY AGREE " with Tess when
she finaly jump into the middle of the " FRUITLESS ARGUMENTS ENDING NOWHERE " we
came here for " PEACEFUL DISCUSSIONS NOT
BASH EACH OTHER'S BELIEFS OR WAY OF LIVING " I addmit that they caught me up into their web
a few times, but then I took a REAL HARD LOOK INTO
MYSELF & THOUGHT JUST WHO AM I TO DO THESE THINGS
AGAINST SOMEONE ELSE. I.E. THERE WAS NO WAY THAT
I COULD CAST ANY STONES, all I did after was posts
of DAILY SCRIPTURES which I've quit doing do to it
may offend others. May God's Eternaly
Loving Grace Always Embrace Thee All.
 
--------------------------------------------------
Hope is like a road in the country; there never was a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.
--------------------------------------------------
Scott Whitmore
zanthor2691@aol.com
Ona Gwe, Waki
Wm Scott Whitmore
aka
Em~Hotep
|
Anita Stith Tafolla (A_r_tafolla)
Starlite Member
Username: A_r_tafolla
| | Posted on Sunday, August 28, 2005 - 09:49 pm: |
|
Ashleey NIKO: With reference to your post and telling Tess what is right and wrong. Religious doctrine aside - you may not be aware that Tess is Moderator of this Forum and can set rules about what we post.
Recently, this part of the Forum has been over-run with long posts and attacks upon the beliefs of others. Tess has said we may no longer do that.
"The Opposite of War isn't Peace, it's Creation."
Jonathan Larson
|
|
|  |