|Posted on Friday, February 16, 2007 - 06:49 am: ||
BUSH SET TO RE-ATTACK IRAQ, BASED ON ITS TIES TO IRAN
By Don Davis
President Bush reassured a nervous nation today that his Administration has no intention of starting a war with Iran. However, citing mounting evidence of Iraq’s ties to “the terrorist state of Iran,” Bush claimed that a re-invasion of Iraq was necessary.
“There may have been no ties between Saddam and terrorists,” Bush conceded, “but now the evidence is overwhelming that the Maliki government is in bed with Iran, a card-carrying member of the Axis of Evil.”
As proof, Bush claimed that our troops in Iraq had recovered not only enhanced IEDs with Iranian serial numbers, but also huge quantities of shells from Iranian pistachio nuts, littered on the floor of Shiite mosques. “And Vice President Cheney, who watches FOX news, informs me that high-ranking Iraqi officials have actually gone to … Tehran.”
Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice dispelled any notion that the United States is itself responsible for the current mess: “How were we to know that a predominantly Shiite country, would become allies with a predominantly Shiite country, especially after Shiites in both countries have been cooperating with each other for years.”
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, appearing before the Senate Foreign Relations Commitee, asserted that the Administration did not need Congressional authorization for the re-invasion, but that the President had the inherent Constitutional powers of “Do-Over-and-Chief,” citing the precedent of Mulligan v. Mulligan.
The Democratic majority in Congress, however, indicated that it would not simply lie down for Bush this time. Consequently, they’re planning to introduce a non-binding resolution which permanently opposes any withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq, in order to prevent the re-invasion.
As Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said, “Fool us once, shame on you, fool us twice … shame on us.”
Total Fatalities - 3,132 Total Wounded - 23,417
Diseases Medical Air Transport Required - 18,704
Total Medical Air Transported - 32,544
Total Non-Mortal Casualties - 54,910