|Posted on Sunday, March 11, 2007 - 07:29 am: ||
THE BUSH SUPPORTERS’ CREDO
By Nancy Greggs
Those of you who still believe in George W. Bush and his party, please place your right hand over your heart and repeat the following – all eleven of you.
I BELIEVE that President Bush is a good Christian, who is guided by God in all of his decisions – even when God tells him to torture, steal, lie, kill hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians, and ignore his own citizens when they are dying in New Orleans.
I BELIEVE that all homosexuals are sinners who should be shunned by society – except those who are mouthpieces for the GOP, evangelical Christian leaders who get caught, or children of the vice president.
I BELIEVE that losing the respect of countries around the world strengthens my country, and inciting the people of the world to hate us is the true path to making the nation safe.
I BELIEVE that this administration supports the troops – despite sending them into battle unequipped, housing them in deplorable conditions when they return, and doing everything possible to cut their pay, pensions, benefits, and long-term health care needs.
I BELIEVE that the War on Terror is vital to our national security – along with the War on Christmas, and the War on Easter.
I BELIEVE that any president has a right to ignore the Constitution and break the law – as long as he’s a Republican president.
I BELIEVE that the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are proving to be wildly successful – and the stories about civil war and the return of the Taliban are fabrications concocted by the media.
I BELIEVE that things like the Geneva Conventions are quaint and outdated – along with the Bill of Rights.
I BELIEVE that religion should play a larger role in government – as long as it’s my religion, and not someone else’s.
I BELIEVE that ‘family values’ are an important part of a politician’s persona – but it doesn’t matter how many ‘families’ a Republican politician has had, or how he has treated them.
I BELIEVE that this administration always tells the truth – no matter how many times they are proven to have lied.
I BELIEVE that George W. Bush has always had a sound strategy for military operations in Iraq – he has simply chosen not to share that winning strategy for fear of tipping off the enemy.
I BELIEVE that people like Perle, Wolfowitz and Kristol will someday be proven correct in all of their predictions – perhaps not in my lifetime, but some day.
I BELIEVE that the fact that administration cronies have wound up making a fortune during Bush’s tenure in office is mere coincidence – as amazing as that coincidence may seem.
I BELIEVE that Ann Coulter is a humble, patriotic woman – while Cindy Sheehan and the 9/11 widows are merely publicity-seekers.
I BELIEVE that when FOX-News reports things like Barack Obama having spent years in a madrassa, they are correct – and all public records proving the contrary are clearly wrong.
I BELIEVE that when President Bush says he served his full military duty, he is correct – and all public records proving the contrary are wrong.
I BELIEVE that unemployment, deficits, and national debt are positive signs for the economy – and the fact that the trickle down theory hasn’t trickled down to millions of Americans yet is of no real consequence.
I BELIEVE that good Christian values should be part of government – except when it comes to feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless, and caring for the sick, in which case Christian values have no place in government at all.
In summary, I BELIEVE everything I am told to believe by people who have lied to me, deceived my country, manipulated the government in order to line their own pockets, eroded my rights, destroyed my freedoms, and wave their ability to get away with it in my face at every opportunity.
I BELIEVE – because I am an idiot who will believe anything.
Total Fatalities - 3,190 Total Wounded - 23,417
Diseases Medical Air Transport Required - 18,704
Total Medical Air Transported - 32,544
Total Non-Mortal Casualties - 54,910