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 Title   [ Click any title below to view poem ]Category Date
 My Analyst made me do it Life 1/9/2008
 This poem is so sad I could hardly type Misc 5/17/2007
 Inspired by a Gollywog Life 11/16/2006
 The Tuesday I tried to dissolve myself Misc 11/7/2006
 Friends like these Misc 8/29/2006
 The wings of a dove Life 8/25/2006
 You been on the Slaughterhouse Dark Poetry 8/23/2006
 Less than this Dark Poetry 8/22/2006
 You owe me more than this Love Gone Bad 8/22/2006
 I have felt this before Insight 8/22/2006
 If this is Love, give me arthritis! The Pain of Love 8/4/2006
 Beneath the feet of a God Current Events 8/3/2006
 You are my Sunshine Love Gone Bad 8/3/2006
 Act 2 Secene 2 Misc 6/29/2005
 With my mouth wide open for you Misc 6/29/2005
 Garlic Misc 6/29/2005
 Keeping Your options open Misc 6/29/2005
 The Kind of Porn your parents watch Misc 6/29/2005
 You broke my dreams with your love I Love You 4/25/2005
 It doesn't matter Life 11/3/2004
 My children have stretch marks. Misc 10/23/2004
 The sexiest Goat in all the World Love Gone Bad 10/23/2004
 I am the Ark Inspirational Poems 10/12/2004
 I am naked Dark Poetry 9/17/2004
 The Monkey's Crown Life 9/15/2004
 The Queen Misc 8/17/2004
 The Bee and the Bear Childrens Poetry 8/13/2004
 The Ogre (for children) Short Stories 8/12/2004
 Young and Middle Class Life 8/9/2004
 Censorship Holiday Poems 8/6/2004
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

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My Analyst made me do it

There is glass to be trodden in
so why rock the boat?
Your face won't survive
the crocs in the moat.
I live in your shadow
Like a hamster in a ball
and it's all of a shudder
when your back's to the wall.

Don't mark out you territory
like some kind of dog
That carpet was new
now it's as brown as a bog
Get of my head, now
get out of it, quit
or I'll shake my dandelion
into an open coal pit.

I want to be rid of you
cut free, like a boat
On the rising tide, rising
above the crocs in the moat
And I want to dance madly
like a cat on a stick
come to cut off your head
so the children can eat.

Author's note:
This is the result of four years' intensive study at the Baden-Baden centre for lunatic poetry. It expresses all the things that you can do while locked up in their bright orange, conical cells. City breaks start from as little as £700 for the weekend, cheaper if you bring your own goat. see for details.

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