Women against Violence
Let me tell you a little about myself, I am a former police office, and a God loving Christian. I have seen it all. I have taken class after class on battering, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and rape. I could go on and on... I learned that the abuser picked this up at home. I learned the abuser, without counseling, will continue to abuse.
I have witnessed abuse over and over again as a police officer. One lady had been beaten so badly her left eye was almost out of its socket; we took her report, contacted the shelter, and was able to get her the medical attention she needed.. When it came time for her to press charges, she dropped them and went back to her abuser.
With Gods help you can leave and not look back. For some reason the victim feels she/he deserves this kind of treatment, or, they feel there is no place for them to go. Lack of education, child care, transportation, and funds keep the victim in that environment.
Recently I wrote a poem called ‘D.I.V.O.R.C.E.’ I didn’t write the poem about me; I wrote it because my daughter is going through a divorce. She had been a victim of abuse for over thirty years. I pleaded with her to get out before it destroyed her entire family. I prayed and prayed for her and her situation. After thirty two years she made that decision.
My daughter and her family have suffered at his hands far to long. She is fortunate. There are a lot of women who continue to return to their abusers only to lose their lives. The abuser has to have complete control of his victim. My daughter has a close friend that is a social worker; they work together with ‘The ARC’ in Ohio. She has canceled my daughter and I believe she was instrumental in my daughter’s final decision. Her sister has been a great encouragement to her too. They are her rock; her children have been her rock, and God has been her solid rock.
She is a God loving woman, a gentle woman, kind, soft-hearted, and I could go on and on about her attributes.
Did you know that the controlling abuser chooses women like her? They seek out those they can easily control. When the abused woman gets her ‘back bone’ the abuser goes into a rage. They wear two faces, one for the public, and the other at home; The abuser will never change unless they seek help.
If you or anyone you know is a victim, please, please steer them in the right direction and give them channels they can forge. We can’t tell a woman in this situation what to do but we did give them the tools to work with.
There is help out there. If you are abused, please seek help either with your minister, church, or shelters for the abused.
Written by Janice Bumbalough Marler
February 18, 2008
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