I am sitting here and still all this has not quite hit me yet! I truly cannot believe I did it!! I just can't believe that I can now finally say I accomplished something and did not quit, boy even though I sure wanted to at times, especially that algebra hell I was in!! LOL Man that was tough, and I believe with all my heart, the Lord gave me the strength and confidence to continue on! I was not a very good servant to Him throughout, and there isn't anything I can do about that, but I can sure do something about it now! :) I have had many tearful prayers to Him lately, telling Him that I will never ever leave that straight and narrow path that is without Him again, and if I start, I need His strength to help me always, because if I don't keep Him in my life, all hell breaks loose, and I am and I am not just whistling Dixie on that one, wow it is the truth!!
What a feeling I have had recently, like this whole educational journey I have been on, has also brought me back to the Father, and this is the best feeling in the whole world....I know I have missed the LORD very much in my life, I guess all that hurt from everything caused me to lose my faith in Him, and blame Him for everything; believed that He left me with it all, but I now know that He didn't, He was with me the whole time in order to bring me to this place in my life, my heart, my spirit, which I am eternally grateful to my Father, for without Him, (and I believe this with my whole heart) I am completely lost.
I am not sure who will read this, but that does not matter :) My Lord has given me so very much, and sometimes I am so ashamed at some of my behaviors, yet, He continued to love me, believe in me, not give up on me, did not leave me, nor forsake me, He was there through it all; showing me that the best kind of love, the truest love of all loves, comes from Him, I know, because I have lived it, and I know what life is like when one walks away from God like I did. I was the lost sheep, and He came for me and brought me back to the fold, HE CAME FOR ME ~ how in the world could I ever not know His love.
Thank YOU LORD, for helping me get to this place, for not letting me give up, for giving me the courage, strength, and confidence in myself to continue on, even when I was not very kind or grateful to YOU. Oh JESUS, thank YOU GOD for saving my son's life!! my son would have died for sure without YOU FATHER, oh GOD, thanks YOU so much for hearing my desperate cries and answering my prayers, and praise YOU LORD, he is healthy, and alive and well!!
If my dear friend (Life) were here with me now, she would be so proud I know, because I have finally graduated!! It is not about earning my 4 year college degree, which to me does not compare to the experience of graduating in my heart, spirit, and soul...by leaving the past behind me, and looking forward to the future. I know that there will be more mountains to climb, more trials and more tribulations, but I know that my Lord is with me always!! in JESUS precious and Holy name, AMEN!!
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