It was a real freak show
The biggest thing ever!
Everyone wanted a piece
And boy could Arnie deliver!
The alien was found in the desert
Wandering dazed and bemused
No one knew how it got there
And Arnie was real confused
Living out there in his trailer
He saw nothing from dawn to dusk
But one day a blinding explosion
Near blew him from his husk
Luckily for Arnie he knew Dave
Who registered sole rights in his name
And try as the CIA did that night
Arnie kept a hold on his 'game'
They stuck it in a holding pen
Guarded by all the rights of law
Ringed by fences and flashing lights
And shoved pizza down its jaw
Next day the ads hit the screen
‘Live Alien! This Time For Real!’
With a pic of it’s weird spiral tit
And a sound byte of its squeal
Right away green stuff hit the fan
Not green cheese, no, not this
We’re talking moolah here… hard cash
A great pile of starry bliss!
Boy, the public lapped it up
Each with his little cattle prod
Making it squeal and flash its eyes
And protrude its fiery rod
Now maybe they shoulda realised…
Or, was it something it ate?
Nah! It was crass human stupidity
That consigned them to their fate
In the end no one really cared
A bunch of trailer trash had gone
And for fifty square miles a great black smudge
And Arnie's eyes burning like the sun.
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