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 Title   [ Click any title below to view poem ]  Poet More From Poet  Date
 I Can't Get Drunk randy-johnson        (More) 12/9/2018
 CONVERTIBLE randy-johnson        (More) 12/8/2018
 CHRISTMAS CANDLE Biggus        (More) 12/4/2018
 Come And Get It! Moonlight Flower        (More) 11/30/2018
 HAPPY CHRISTMAS AUNTIE PEGGY  Biggus        (More) 11/30/2018
 Vexation and Vanity Abdul_Malik        (More) 11/23/2018
 Black Friday At The Hospital randy-johnson        (More) 11/23/2018
 HAPPY TURKEY DAY Biggus        (More) 11/21/2018
 MIDDLE AGED HOLIDAY Biggus        (More) 11/21/2018
 WHAT NATIONALITY IS SANTA CLAUS? Biggus        (More) 11/20/2018
 MUM WAS DETERMINED Biggus        (More) 11/16/2018
 WHEN WE SIT DOWN TO CHRISTMAS DINNER Biggus        (More) 11/16/2018
 TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS # 20 Biggus        (More) 11/16/2018
 ALL THE WORLD IS A STAGE Biggus        (More) 11/15/2018
 ALTHOUGH MY WIFE AND I ARE AGING Biggus        (More) 11/15/2018
 AN ELEGANT HARPIST Biggus        (More) 11/15/2018
 I HAVE DISCOVERED AN ELEMENTAL FORCE Biggus        (More) 11/15/2018
 IíM A REALLY KEEN CRICKET FAN AND Biggus        (More) 11/15/2018
 A MAN STOPPED ME IN THE STREET Biggus        (More) 11/15/2018
 THE FIRST TIME I MET MY WIFE Biggus        (More) 11/14/2018
 MY GRANDPARENTS HAVE LOADS OF SAYINGS Biggus        (More) 11/14/2018
 I HAVE BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED Biggus        (More) 11/14/2018
 I WORK FOR A COMPANY Biggus        (More) 11/14/2018
 MY LAST GIRLFRIEND TREATED ME Biggus        (More) 11/14/2018
 I BORROWED TO PAY AN EXORCIST Biggus        (More) 11/14/2018
 TO BATHE THE MIND MissSharon        (More) 11/12/2018
 MY BROTHER JOHNNY IS GAY Biggus        (More) 11/10/2018
 THERE ARE THREE TYPES OF DRIVER Biggus        (More) 11/10/2018
 MY LOVE LIFE AT HOME IS VERY APT Biggus        (More) 11/10/2018

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I Can't Get Drunk

(This fictional poem takes place in the year 1984.)

I can't believe what the USA Government has done.
They've raised the drinking age up to twenty-one.
I just turned eighteen last week.
Now I can't get drunk and it's bleak.

Before I can buy any booze, I'll have to wait three years.
I really want some vodka, Jack Daniels and a keg of beer.
Why did the government have to do what it did?
It's been my dream to be the town drunk since I was a kid.

I bought a fake ID but the liquor store owner knows it's phony.
I told him that it's genuine but he says that's a lot of baloney.
He just grabbed me and threw me out the door.
It looks like I won't get any booze at his store.

I asked my uncle to buy me some beer.
He got so angry that he boxed my ears.
Now I can't get plastered and that isn't fun.
I can't get any booze until I turn twenty-one.

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