WHEN YOU LOOSE SOMEONE CLOSE
I remember everyone coming home,
The holidays are over but we all gather.
I know i went to the church service,
I watched her casket lowered into the ground.
The whole time didn't believe it was happening
She couldn't be dead, I needed her still.
Back at home, the family in big hug.
I feel it but do not accept the truth.
The house is empty, and I am alone.
I forgot she is gone to heaven above.
I call out to her and walk into the room.
Silence and emptiness greets me.
Confused I stand, tears in my eyes.
I still do not believe or accept this loss.
Mom where have you gone, I need you.
In my young mind, irrational, she is back home.
I want to go home, to our farm, to my mom.
When we loose someone close our brains play tricks.
Unexperienced minds, use tricky methods to cope.
I became obsessed with our old family home.
I was sent away from my dad, he couldn't handle me.
I was angry and hurt he didn't want me, I was his baby girl.
No parents did I have, and mom was back home.
I went to the farm, and my heart it broke all over.
When we loose someone we love,
our brains play tricks.
Nothing was the same, I was lost and no one to help.
How was i going to cope, no parents did I have.
I moved from home to home, and finally ran away.
It took years to trust and still have problems today.
I had to rid myself of my abuser, without help.
I had to learn to survive alone in the world.
When my mom died she left me to cope.
I never blamed her, I just felt so alone.
Then Dad's inability and my abuser still there.
I ran for many years, drugs and booze took hold.
Then I had to change couldn't go on like this.
These feeling are dulled to the most part .
My memories and of the confusion still here.
I have grown stronger and accept it all now.
I hold that frightened child near my heart.
When you loose someone close it takes time.
It takes strength and perseverance and understanding.
I love my parents, and I have learned to treasure it all.
Including the years of uncertainty, fear, and pain.
DOC DYR
BADMAC(BRENDA)
WHEN YOU LOOSE SOMEONE CLOSE
By doc_dyr
© 2008 doc_dyr
(All rights reserved)
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