Here you are standing in my doorway,|
a heartbeat away from an answer you don't want to hear.
It's a long road that brought us here,
years of lies, sorrow, heartbreak, even a divorce.
And even now that all is said and done,
you say you miss me.... I miss you, too.
Now that you're with her and I'm with him,
you want what we used to have.
But the painfully honest truth is
I can't give you what you want anymore.
I sacrificed the years, the dreams,
the soul, the life of me.
You didn't see it then, you still don't now.
I left you because I was all out
of second chances to give.
I didn't give up like you think, like you accuse.
I did what was best for me for a change,
instead of what was always best for you.
Yet you seem to forget I lost you, too.
I love you, I do, I always have.
You love me, too, you say.
But I'm done with the misery that you've drowned me in.
The man who shares my life now
is everything you should have been,
the sort of man I always deserved.
The only one now who makes me feel
real, wanted, needed... love reciprocated in full.
He knows me better than you ever tried,
sees me in ways you never showed.
He puts in the effort, has not an ounce of selfishness.
He sees what he has now instead of when it's too late.
I can trust him, I'm free to be me with him,
and I love him, I do, I think I always will.
I love you, too. It's true.
The only thing wrong with him
is that he isn't you.
It should have been you.
And the only thing wrong with you
is everything you refuse to admit,
the better man you choose not to be.
So here you are standing in my doorway,
a heartbeat after the answer you didn't want to hear.
The road that brought us here has ended,
and I'm closing the door to you and me.
I always loved you, I guess I always will.
But I deserve to be happy,
to be loved for who and what I am,
to be known, to be seen,
to be shown just how much someone cares.
You could never do that,
I know now you never will.
Forever is a long time,
I think as the door clicks closed,
to love someone so much.
But seeing his face instead of yours
reminds me I have more room in my heart.
I'll always love you, but I love him, too.
It's time for me to take another road.
Just know I'll carry you with me wherever I go.
But it's him I belong with now,
happiness that I deserve,
love that I need, him that I love.
You haven't been replaced,
no one could ever do that.
I'm just finally moving on,
and trying not to look back.
The door is closed, and though it hurts...
it's what's best for you and me.
Though trust me when I say I'll always love you,
and that door will always, always haunt me.
By Christel Pond
© 2009 Christel Pond
(All rights reserved)