Photo taken by Dorinda Jade McLeod- Wimberley, Texas
It felt like fear.
He wasn’t afraid of dying.
He was afraid of
Never seeing her again
His own grief
Thinking that suffering is just suffering
He still believed in God.
That wasn’t the problem.
Turning to God?
He didn't cause the cancer but he had allowed it in.
It felt like a door had been slammed in his face.
He was in total darkness.
It felt a lot like being in prison;
in a dungeon.
He couldn’t see anything.
Yet in the middle of total darkness he heard a sound.
Perhaps the waves or the sound of the wind in the trees;
for the first time he sensed he was not in a dungeon but rather open air.
Nothing had changed.
He still waited in darkness only now he knew the unseen world
was greater than anything he could’ve imagined.
The door was neither shut nor open.
Was it shut and bolted on the inside by his desperate need?
Didn’t make it any easier.
He loved her so much
She had asked him if it was worth it.
(Loving her and knowing she was dying)
If God had given him a choice would he have chosen differently?
Doesn’t seem fair, does it?
If you want to love, you have to have the pain.
You can’t hold onto things, you have to let them go.
He still believed in Heaven.
She had always told him that real life hadn’t begun yet.
All this (the entire world) is just lands of shadows.
She sat with reflective tears streaming down her cheeks.
Analyzing the situation
Those she loved
Why it is that the world finds it so easy to believe in the mortal things
Yet, they find it so hard to believe in the immortal.
What is more important to love or to have not loved?
A desired moment can be magical, no doubt yet fleeting.
She simply cannot fathom a world where there is no love.
Imagine all the people spending their days of existence in total darkness.
Death is but a puzzle piece in this riddle we call life.
We don’t have all the answers.
He didn’t have all the answers.
Is it so hard to believe that the Father knows best?
Our children are expected to believe we do.
Through her death he became closer to her boys.
With good there is bad.
With love there is heartache.
With joy there is pain.
With summer there is winter.
With fall there is spring.
With darkness there is light.
There is always an equal and opposite of everything.
This world is only a stepping stone on our way to where we belong;
C.S. Lewis's journey through the Shadowlands in black.
My introspective thoughts are in red
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What if? by Coldplay