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Phoenix
 

 
Your eyes locked on their target:
my eyes.
You took one step towards me
and I took two steps back.
A glimmer in your tiger focus -
surprise.
I have never seen more desire
in the irises of any man.

I broke the silence and willed you
to stop,
to keep control, and you said,
'How can I, when you are there,
standing right here in front of me;
to stop
is impossible', and all I could do
was laugh, to not give in to tears.

For I knew that I was not alone in
your heart;
where half of your heart had found me,
the other half lay under a cross.
And I was right to be afraid;
press start,
and the game began to be played,
you second-guessed it, and we lost.

It is not that I am heartbroken,
not I;
I accepted that I deeply love you
with all of my soul.
This is why I am anguished
each time
you enter my peripheral vision;
you swallow my joy like a black hole.

I want you to know what you've done
to me,
but my pride is stronger than pain;
I will not admit defeat.
One day I will not need you...
you'll see.
Hand in hand, secure in love,
I will wave to you from across the street.

Is this the last wave of fractured
torment?
Your smile sears my saddened eyes,
and I know my anger is surfacing,
burning from beneath the earth's crust.
The depths
have hidden too much for too long;
from the flames the phoenix is emerging.

By Kayla Esther

© 2014 Kayla Esther (All rights reserved)

 

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