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Avoidance
 
So it has come to my limits
the highs the lows
how do people stop this recurring cycle?
it never leaves

it always finds me
in desperation I find someone
yet they are not the one
when I finally find whom I think is the one

my true love
and soulmate
he is so distant
he seems happy to see me

then disappears
is it just one-sided?
what am I to him?
I have never felt so alone

so desperate
I try to be positive
I try to live life
it is too hard

I have shunned one friend
because he made me see what he believes
is the truth
so I walk alone now

another friend is giving me the guidance of God
I have nowhere to turn
so I have come to you starlite
this anguish is excruciating

I want to relive my life again
so that I can understand
this body that houses my soul
I don't understand

why must I continue to choose these
people...that hurt me
that are so difficult?
why do I let go of the simpler ones?

why am I attracted to these
abusive ones
my last one was correct when he said
that women like abusive men

and that I would leave him
because he was too safe
and too easy to love
I said that he was wrong

but just like my mom
and my cousin
and my first relationship
the longest one

the most abusive one
I seem to long for it
all other relationships seem so common
so boring

I want to be normal
to look for healthy relationships
but I have a hard time
keeping them

because I am the one to walk away
I want to help others
yet I can't even help myself
what am I to do?

By Hispbeauty

© 2018 Hispbeauty (All rights reserved)

 

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