Where Am I?
Those white walls are plastered in my mind,|
They remind me of the time I was in your cage,
They haunt me everyday, alone, abandoned,
Can you stop reminding me?
I donít want to go back, but Iím here, here,
Everything looks different but it feels the same,
Is my soul locked in there for eternity,
It wreaks of deprivation.
The doctors keep walking by,
Theyíre not here to see me they want to watch me suffer,
Howíd I end up here?
So cold with this single sheet.
I twist my eyes around as if to look into my mind,
Itís not there,
Iíve checked out.
So I cry.
I cry like my life depends on it.
I cry like it will bring me back to sanity.
Get me out of here.
Please, now, please.
I shift my body to look out the window.
Itís blurry, I can make out a single silhouette.
Is it time to leave?
Drink this youíll feel better.
I donít touch it, but I feel so parched.
A single swipe as my hand grasps the paper cup, gulp.
The room fills with pretty colors, unique designs,
Like that of a television with no signal,
They radiate throughout my body, keeping me entertained,
Suddenly I am pained.
I try to act systematically,
Sit up straight, smile, youíre fine, youíll be out of here soon,
I cry inside as I see the moon.
Will I ever see that bright blossoming moon again?
I close my eyes and remember what I can, a divot here, another there.
I breath in the crisp night air, wind brushing my face,
I love the embrace, as I lightly trace my fingers on the leaves birthed by the tree next to me,
I open my eyes.
More than I was before.
I stare blankly into the wall, through the wall, to the other side.
I see them standing there, talking, laughing.
Probably laughing at me, stuck in here like an animal.
I hear them coming closer, peeking through the slit in the door.
Haha! Theyíre probably thinking.
Theyíre making a mockery of me.
Iím not the only one, we outnumber you.
I could break through this glass, escape through the ceiling.
Iíll try to sleep.
My only friend.
Besides the voices in my head.
Theyíre laughing too.
Iíll write a poem;
ďOh how I long to leave these burdened walls,
Each wall dingier than the last,
Divide the walls into eight,
Fold them into the past,
Cast away myself,
Away from this pain,
This cold damp floor,
How I long to be at home again,
Oh wait I am.Ē
I open my eyes again, see my ceiling fan, shrug,
Iíll always be there.
Thatís just a glimpse.
I carry the weight of the whole.
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