Tell Me Why
I felt you close as I was sleeping|
Or should I say, I felt your sun.
It’s hard to explain this kind of dreaming
Since last I saw you I was so undone.
But my heart’s impressions of your sweetness
Blessed my slumber one more time.
It’s clear, so clear to me, my darling
That your gentle nature still holds me captive,
In spite of all the crying I have done.
You packed up your things three weeks ago
And kissed my cheek as you said good bye,
Telling me that you needed space, some time alone
But it seemed so sudden—and you wouldn’t tell me why.
My tears have been flowing, since the day you left.
My heart is aching for your love.
I miss your sensual kisses on my eager lips.
It’s only you and them I’ve been thinking of.
Last night, I dreamt that you gave your love
Making me…your proverbial prize,
Indeed, you finally were made ready
For the knowing was in your eyes.
You held me in a surer way
And kissed my lips instead,
The sensation of our love alive
Still lingering in our bed.
I tried so hard to keep you there
But sleep no longer came.
So I awoke with a heavy heart
Still calling out your name.
Here I sit with tear stained cheeks
On the sofa—drinking my morning tea,
Staring blankly into the atrium
Where the birds are flying free.
A light goes on and I realize,
I’m acting like a victim instead of fighting for your love,
So, I decide to get to the bottom of this
With a little help from the Lord above!
I take a deep breath, and pick up the phone,
To call your Auntie Lee.
Who I had met only a handful of times
So, I am nervous as I can be.
I tell your Aunt about your leaving me
Without any explanation,
She is quiet for an uncomfortably long time
My heart and body are trembling with anticipation.
When she finally speaks, I can hear the tears
And the lump that is in her throat,
She tells me that you are in the hospital
Getting treatments for leukemia these last three weeks
After you came to stay with her on her boat!
I calmly ask your Aunt what hospital you are in,
And she tells me that you didn’t want me to know.
In an even tone, I ask her why
She goes silent again—and my tears begin to flow.
I tell her that she must know how deeply that I love you
And that I have a right to know.
She says that it is up to you to tell me
And that she’s gone as far as she can go.
I am fighting back the tears again,
As I beg your Aunt, if she would,
Help me NOW to be with you,
As my love would only do you good!
The hospital name and room number come quickly then
As I rush to be by your side,
Brushing back the tears and the fears
That I know I will have to hide.
You are sleeping when I get there
So, I run my fingers through your beautiful hair,
Then kiss your lips and hold your hand in mine
Till you awake and see me standing there.
You begin to speak...
And I put my fingers on your lips to stop you,
“I want to make it clear that I am staying here, hon
Because you need me and my love for you is true.”
You are quiet for a while and when you speak
Those tears are in your eyes,
You tell me that you love me dearly
But you don’t want me to watch you die.
I smile, as I run my fingers lightly across your face
And you close your eyes to savor the moment,
During this calming ritual that you love so much.
“All I want you to do right now, my love,
Is to surrender to my healing touch.”
“The doctor says that your prognosis for recovery is excellent
Because they caught it early on,
But whatever happens, I choose to be here—
Because my love for you runs deep and strong.”
You smile a tearful smile that swells my heart
As you pull me closer kissing my lips softly while stroking my cheek,
saying, “I am so glad that you are here with me, baby…
For now, the world doesn’t look so bleak.”
You continue to say, with a big smile on your face,
“I was foolish to think I could do this without you by my side…
Please forgive me for shutting you out, but I guess somehow I knew
That your stubborn nature wouldn't allow me to run and hide.”
I snuggle up inside your arms…laughing a little
As the doctor enters the room smiling, “Well my friend,
Your god must be working over time
Because your cells are healthy
So your time with us is almost at an end.”
When the doctor leaves, your face is beaming…
And I lay by your side and hold you tight,
As we shed a few tears out of pure happiness
Thanking god and staying that way till morning light.
For the Just for the Love of It Challenge
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