I sat there all alone deep within my self
Allowing the pain of sorrow to spill out from within
Flooding over all my entire emotions and taking control
All I could feel was the misery of the world
And the pain within
It was the child in me
Sobbing, and sobbing
Alone in herself
The pain was like an explosion of doom
Anything you could possibly feel of all the
Pain in your life was there.
All the cuts and bruises and angry words
All the physical abuse and mental anguish!
It opened up my very soul.
I had absolutely no control over it.
I let it rain and it did thunder.
For several hours without end
All by myself without a single friend
No one there to hold me
No one said it would be okay
Sitting there at the restaurant on display.
I couldn't even leave
I was far to upset.
The wrenching pain I will never forget.
My God I felt everything.
The pain the pain the pain
Pouring out of me.
Like a faucet of rain
And there I sat feeling it all
No place to hide or run.
I let it all come.
Totally out of control
I felt it all expelling out from within.
All boxed up inside of me
It was all there
The box now opens
And the feeling of pain was everywhere.
Gone was the pain I felt of yours.
Gone was the thought I could not feel.
My pain I felt and it was real.
I LET IT ALL COME OUT.
I didn't think I could do it.
To feel it all at once
And I sat there and said to myself
I cant do this I cant handle this pain.
But I sat there all the same.
And I let it all come.
And then it stopped I was all done.
I didn't feel it any more
It was all gone from within
Now empty of the pain
Now empty but I'm free.
I'M DONE WITH PUNISHING ME.
I went to you and you held me tight.
You said it was okay.
And I started again to feel the pain
That I thought had gone away.
But you held on to me
And you held on tight.
And before long it was gone once again.
And I was empty of it inside.
Releasing myself to be loved.
To open up to other feelings I had.
God how I needed that right then!
To be held by my special man.
To go to another place
Where feelings were only love.
There was only you and I.
Lost within each other.
And there I did crawl inside your body
And hide within your soul.
Where I knew I was safe.
And nobody else would go.
This poem does not really show
The pain I felt that day.
It tells a story about the pain.
That went away.
But you cannot see the little girl
Sobbing there alone.
With her head bowed down in shame.
Nor can you see her pain.
Just know that she released it
IT ALL CAME OUT FROM HER.
And somehow she knows that's ok.
And it will come again.
But now she does know that she can handle it.
And it's ok to feel it and let it go.
I said I don't know what to do with it.
So I gave it up to God.
And God held me in return.
You see he works through you with me.
He always has. I sensed this right away.
And I know he wants me to be loved.
And feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel it
And that's okay..
Thank you Jesus for tsking the pain awsy...
© Eva Marie Cagley
© 2019 raggedyann11
(All rights reserved)